Prince of Odd Boys

studentofetherium:

studentofetherium:

sometimes, the only way i know my roommate is still alive is the $30 cheese that appears and disappears from our fridge

the reviews are in

huffylemon:

deadsprout:

At first Netflix said, come write for us. We’ll save your cancelled shows and write about whatever niche story you want. Our algorithm says people will watch it!

Then a few years later they said, regardless of our promises or contract obligations we are cancelling shows after two seasons without telling anyone. Turns out no matter how loved a show is, we get less subscriptions after the second season.

How many subscriptions did we bring you? Netflix won’t say.

So writers started writing two season shows. Just give us two seasons, Netflix. Like you promised.

Then Netflix said, oops sorry! Turns out your show didn’t premiere at #1 and the views in the first day weren’t what we wanted so we’re cancelling your second season.

What were the numbers? How many people watched our show? Netflix doesn’t say.

Then, they did something extra special. They started taking shows and splitting their first season into two halves. Inside Job was not two seasons. It was one season split in half.

Oops! Sorry! The second half of your first season didn’t do as well as the first half, so now your show is cancelled!

Why? How many people? How much money? These companies are making cash hand over fist and they refuse to tell people the truth: people loved your show. Loved it. But some corpo exec wanted an infinite money making machine. Do you know how long shows are in production for before you watch them? Years. Like, 5+, even 10+ years. And Netflix gives it less than a week before they decide whether you’re getting cancelled.

Support #WGA Support #SAGAFTRA

mispronouncing-michaelangelo:

nie huaisang’s best quality is that he looks like he makes that sound nintendogs make when theyre confused

teaboot:

feral-bookwoom:

teaboot:

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say “yes”, the second will say “no.”

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? “Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?” For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: “I don’t have a card for that.”

“What the fuck,” they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: “I have laryngitis. I’ve lost speech. My throat hurts”. Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. “How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?”

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

“I have powerful wizard magics.”

Gets them every time

On it boss!!

[id: a set of 5 UNO cards upon which has been written, “Yes”, “no”, “I don’t have a card for that”, “can’t talk right now 😢”, and “I have powerful wizard magics 🙂”. End id]

huffy-1337:

pansyfem:

pansyfem:

meetcute idea: your packer slides down your pant leg and falls out and you’re mortified as hell but a guy picks it up and puts it in his pants instead and runs away reallyfast so you have to chase after him and get ur oenis back

stop making fun of ‘oenis’ you know you love oenis

paper-mario-wiki:

paper-mario-wiki:

i WILL continue to post my own tiktoks because i am very funny

easily the best comment this tiktok received.

shetheyslay:

beastheads: